🌞 Cough – October 09 2020

The Lead: The Last Debate

credit: ap

That Vice President debate may be the last one we get from this year’s election. President Trump has said that he will not participate in the next debate, not because he has Covid, but because he is not interested in doing a virtual event.

Organizers had announced that the debate would be virtual because there is just no way to keep a Covid patient who happens to be the most protected person on the planet from infecting other people.

Trump makes no apologies or concessions. He’s not into it.

Vice President Joe Biden is alright with it. He said that he will still save the date and hold a town hall on his own if the President decides to no-show on October 15. The Trump campaign said that the President would instead hold a rally. With Covid.

Right Wing Militia Plot Foiled

credit: daily mail

13 people were arrested and charged in Michigan for plotting to kidnap and kill Governor Gretchen Whitmer because she put the state on lockdown. The murderous lunatics reportedly believed that the Governor had violated the Constitution by instating lockdowns, so they decided to kill her. Which also violates the Constitution.

These gents met at lockdown protests and started up meetings to plot against the Governor’s life. One of the members of this bootstrapped militia group was an informant for the FBI. The 13 people, including six leaders, were arrested in a raid on a meeting Thursday morning.

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Post Election Chaos? 

credit: nypost

Since we can no longer assume peaceful transitions of power, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is creating a commission to look into the 25th Amendment. It’s always good to have a plan.

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is also telling his government to brace for disruptions and whatever security threat that presents.

56% of Americans in a new poll fear a civil war. Can someone get me a strong Scotch please?

News By The Numbers

credit: microclimate

12. That is the age of a Jackson Oswald, a boy who is now the youngest person to build a nuclear reactor. The previous record was held by a 14-year-old boy named Taylor Wilson.

$26 million. That is how much McDonald’s is paying workers in California to settle a wage and labor lawsuit.

77 years. That is how long ago, a Japanese aircraft carrier went down in the Battle of Midway. Deep-sea explorers recently found it 18,000 feet below, approximately 1,300 miles from Pearl Harbor.

1,000. That is how many birds flew into skyscrapers and died in Philadelphia last Friday. WTF.

Imagine Seeing This In Your Bed

credit: CNN

Venomous hairy caterpillars are being spotted in Virginia, and we apologize because this photograph is sure to give you the heebie-jeebies. It looks like the top of my daughter’s doll head, creeping along autonomously.

These creatures are not native to Virginia. They are more common in Texas and Missouri, but scientists said that climate change could be causing insect displacement.

If this thing bites you, the bite will sting like a scorching hot knife, and you could experience an itchy rash, vomiting, swollen glands, and a fever.

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