🌞 Ugly Little Devils – May 27 2021

The Lead: A Major Blow To Oil and Gas Giants

credit: ap

A Dutch court ruled that Shell has to slash emissions by 45 percent by the end of 2030. This is a much faster clean-up than the company had planned and it puts the heat on other companies to follow suit or else! 

The court found that Shell has helped drive “dangerous climate change” and acknowledged the plaintiff’s claim that Shell was responsible for 3 percent of the globe’s emissions. Shell had its own plan to reduce emissions by 20% by the year 2030 and be net zero emissions by 2050 but the court says that is not good enough. 

On the same day, Chevron investors demanded the company cut emissions in a shareholder meeting and Exxon Mobil had a board shakeup with environmentally concerned execs taking two seats. 

Up to now, the world has let companies set their own emissions goals. And that was cute – like letting our kids set their own screen time limits. This ruling shows that those days are ending. Shell will appeal this verdict. 

Well, Pardon Me

credit: toronto star

Former President Trump’s advisor and strategist Steve Bannon had his indictment dismissed in court on Tuesday. 

Bannon was accused of defrauding donors to the former President’s Mexican wall project, along with four other people. Bannon received a pardon from outgoing President Trump and the judge said that the pardon was valid in this case. 

The other indicted defendants will likely have to move forward with their own defense but they may change their strategy to point the blame on Bannon who is now immune from the case. 

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Not Safe For Work, Unless You Work From Home

the first kiss captured on film credit: pornhub

Pornhub has restored and colorized vintage erotic films. Some of them date back 100 years. Who knew old movies could be so randy? 

This is part of Pornhub’s Remastered project. Note: link contains nudity. You should have worked that out for yourself by now. 

The Remastered project features 20 films from the late 19th century through the 1940s. Some of it is simple nudity but by the 1920s things heat up. These movies used to be known as “stags.” The earliest surviving stag is the 1896 French film “Le Coucher de la Mariée.” This film is now on Pornhub under the English name “Bedtime for the Bride.” 

*Note: No field research was done for the writing of this story. 

It's A Big Problem Afterall

credit: sfgate

The original Matterhorn coaster in Disneyland has seen better days. Disney Imagineers are trying to refurbish the ride but it is an uphill battle because it is so old and was made with engineering methods no longer in use. 

The ride was built in 1959. It has not been open since the park re-opened in April and does not look to be open until late summer. 

Disney cannot rebuild the ride without tearing down nearby rides. They may try to replace the rickety old track in the same way they replaced the track for Big Thunder Mountain in 2014. 

Some say that the Matterhorn is the most dangerous ride at the park because two people died on the ride – one in 1964 and another in 1964. Both times the rider was not wearing a seatbelt. 

News By The Numbers

$25 million. That is the asking price for one of England’s most historic properties, recently put up for sale. It has been owned by the same family since 1633 and the property is larger than Central Park in New York City. No pool? Come on man!

90%. That is how many dog owners who adopted during the pandemic have kept the pup, despite reports of people returning pandemic pets. The statistic is 85% for cats. 

1,250 years. That is how long ago Yellowstone National Park had record warming temperatures. A new study shows that 2016 was the hottest year of the park’s record since the year 770 and the park continues to get hotter. 

150 years old. That is the maximum human lifespan, according to new research. That is, if cancer, heart disease, stress, toxins and wild animals don’t get to you first. 

3,000 years ago. That was the last time the Tasmanian devil was born in mainland Australia. Until now! Seven baby Tasmanian devils were born at a Wildlife Sanctuary in New South Wales. They’re ugly cute! 

America To Spend Billions on Nuclear Weapons

credit: reuters

A new report shows that the U.S. government plans to spend $634 billion over the next decade on nuclear weapons. Most of it will be used to maintain ballistic missile submarines and intercontinental ballistic missiles. 

To put this into perspective: the President’s proposed infrastructure bill costs $1.7 trillion over the same time period and it is being hard-fought in Congress. This spending is more than half of that and there is no fight over it. Why?? 

This high figure is equal to 1.5 times the cost of the stimulus money sent out during the American Rescue Plan and 14 times what Congress has approved for rental assistance. The Congressional Budget Office estimates that it represents 28% more than was spent in the last ten years. 

Now we know why they balk about Medicare-for-all and canceling student debt being too expensive. Priorities. 

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